Building self-esteem should start from thinking positive. How to do this is not easy, especially because at times we can't control our thoughts. The mind has something to do with how far we think over a certain situation. And worst, this create delusions which may lead to something not healthy.
It takes a lot of practice to have positive outlook in all aspects of life. That is, if you like to live happy and get less stress. It's actually normal to feel negative over an ordeal, but you can be able to deal with it through changing your mindset to a positive approach. This way, you will realized that you are detaching yourself from your problem itself. It's called problem solving. When you do this, you will feel good and you start to re-build your self-esteem.
It is being noted that for one to have self-esteem, all his/her needs should be met. This is very true. And in general, it is. But not all times since there are a lot of self-actualized people whose esteem is lost. It may be due to some internal factors in their family or relationships, that has made them low. Physical and verbal abuse are both factors which may addressed the involved person to seek professional help. Life is not perfect. For on the other side you are at the top, on the other one you're at the bottom. It's a fair share actually if you don't see it anyway. If life should have been perfect, there's no chance at all of growing into a better and stronger person, and there's no lesson to be learned at all!